Time's running out, and I'm not getting my uni credits that're due. The reason for this is that I'm frightened as fuck, for some reason. I can't make myself get back up in the evening to visit the uni gym to finally gain my goddamn PE credit. I can't wake up in the morning to pay of my academic debts to gain my goddamn main subjects credit (for me, main subjects are English Grammar + English Phonetics + Language Practice) - whether it's my reluctance solely or me not hearing the alarm or the alarm not going off, I don't know.

It's terrifying, and it feels like I can't do anything about it - which is clearly not true, but I can't seem to gain the momentum necessary. I have no one but myself to blame, which makes it even more appalling. Sucks even more because I'm in this rut for the second time (the first, unfinished uni was the same), and still there's the feeling of powerlessness lingering very clearly. Talking about it seems to help, but there's no one I can reliably talk to about it.

Gotta collect my strength and do something about at some point. Wish I knew how.