Background On July 5, 2015, my partner of 22 years, husband for 18, told me suddenly and without warning that he "needed space." He had "met someone." He seemed to think that he had to be single in order for her to take him seriously. She didn't take him seriously, but we were done. Then, he fell into a slough of despond and is still doing very badly. Nonetheless, we were already in the middle of legally separating and continued in that direction. The Separation Agreement Yesterday: signed, sealed, singed, spit on, done. What I Learned The Separation Agreement is filed nowhere except with us and our lawyers. It is only filed with a court if one of us needs to have a court order to deliver on whatever was promised. That's apparently how it works in Ontario. I needed this document though to use in various ways 1) get the pension services to split off 20% and redirect it to me 2) show my evidence of income so that the bank is more willing to remortgage 3) evidence of income so I can get him removed as guarantor of my mortgage (one of the agreements) 4) particularly, though, it allowed us to find out what is required by law and to protect each of us (mostly me) in a formal agreement 5) if either of us wants a formal divorce at some point, all the real work is done. Divorce requires some paperwork and filing charges of $447 (2016) total. What He Learned I asked "What can be learned?" of course. After a pause, he said, "I should have appreciated what I had." no shit Sherlock What Else I Learned Anything can happen to anyone anytime. We know little and control even less. You don't have to go down with every ship. Stay fabulous. If the universe can create someone like you, the universe has already created someone for you. Sometimes, with a little psychic paging, magic, faith, luck, skill, and awesomeness, the two of you might just meet. mivasairski
And, along with living, loving, laughing . . . more lounging, less longing!
Sail on, Lil. There is more and more behind you, flowing way far away downstream, and so much more up ahead round the next bend that you can only imagine. Sail on -- living, loving, laughing!
Hazelnut tea. Inspired by an OB/lil exchange a couple pubski's back, went ahead and made my first challah from scratch. Used craisins instead of raisins for shits and giggles. As you can see, it came out way better than expected. In a swelling of pride, I sent out the pic to the fam. I was reminded the family historian on my dad's side is flying in from Israel, checks time, today. I was hired baking the challah for Shabbat dinner. Cooking from scratch was easily one of the more rewarding tasks I've done in a while. Honoring the time it takes to allow each step to run its course brought about more respect for an art of creation. Typing this out, I'm inclined to think this is what brought me back to Twain's Two Ways of Seeing a River. My only other memories of kneading dough or panicking flour into doughy hands were in some Hebrew school where the rest of the steps were done for us. As I grew older, the few other exercises in baking the braids progressively indoctrinated peers into previously hidden steps. Building from up from sugars and yeast had been new this time around. Brought about more caution as beginnings gave way to middles where I could finally see what affected the dough's consistency, and acknowledge its role leading into braiding. Let me tell you now, 6-braid is the easiest braid I've ever seen. Take the last rope, pass it over 2, under the middle, and over the last two. Repeat. Hours spent among dough doubling, braided dough forming, baking and cooling allowed for meditative time kneading, separating and braiding to settle in - which was more than I had expected. Of all things, it wasn't the thoughtful type either: skin soaking, hands weaving in through their own ceramic bowl realm was all. And it was nice. Making a run for a proper whisk and brush for the eggs/egg-whites. Naturally, I know what I want to improve on come Friday. On the side of working further into my own family history, while I haven't done much digging since the username change. To make up for it, I have gone ahead and bought a 32GB SD card to make sure my phone doesn't run out of memory for this interview. I'm expecting to get a lot outta this one seeing as my fathers side of the family is the one I have the most trouble connecting the dots with. On some writing notes, I don't do it. I really damn want to. Posting Oils was a thrill seeing the feedback here. I've been looking for a reason to revisit My Kingdom, enticed by adding fresher perspective of where I am now in life in an addition. More thoughts on this idea jumbling in my head without coherency so I'll leave it at that. Mini-Major front: Minor road blocks in the scheduling for next semester to be fixed tomorrow. Looking forward to some (subjectively) common-sense-icle classes like Mechanical Physics and Discrete Maths. :)
"Why would someone want to search for dead relatives?" What are your answers? AWESOME challah, btw. Have a fab shabbos tomorrow night.On the side of working further into my own family history . . . I'm expecting to get a lot outta this one seeing as my fathers side of the family is the one I have the most trouble connecting the dots with.
What a lucky opportunity you have to interview this person. I was recently asked this question:
On a personal level, recovering dead relatives' pasts are in an effort to shape my own identity: to find where I come from, how I relate to others in my nuanced lineage of a people fleeing Europe. I'm interested in the stories of how I got HERE of all places. If anything, the only token or homage I can pay to my ancestors that payed it forward so far to ensure their own survival is to remember them, at the least. I'd venture to guess the lame version of that paragraph is I'm another 3rd generation American seeking to find his roots in a nation claiming to be a melting pot. But that's boring. :) Thank you much! I hope you have a restful one tonight.
My brother is coming to town tomorrow, then Friday we're meeting our parents to go [look at airplanes in Oshkosh, WI](www.eaa.org). The weather should be good. My family is bad at plans and coordinating (which might explain why I do well at them). It'll be frustrating at times, but hopefully it all ends up well. My dad used to fly 35-40 years ago, just flying little Cessnas in a flying club. I occasionally think about trying to get a license. I'm still running, training for a half marathon August 20. wasoxygen, what are you up to these days for runs? Saturday I had intended to do an 11 mile run, but the humidity was oppressive. At four miles I started walking and running on and off. I was completely soaked. My shoes were wet like I'd worn them in a lake. But the humidity is back down, and my hill intervals Monday felt really good. I ordered a fire safe. It's more fire than safe, but I hope it'll help me organize things like my passport and birth certificate in a logical and safe place. My September hiking trip is being reworked in my head. I was going to do six days/five nights in the woods, but I'm chickening out. Now I'm thinking two overnighters and one long day hike. It would be more miles but also more summits. It's also much safer. Since I'm hiking alone, if I had a bad fall on day 1, it would take a week before anyone missed me (phone service doesn't exist). The new plans bring that down to just two days. Work is better than it was.
Thanks! One thing I'm loving about races like this is you're surrounded by people very like you. I'm not very fast, but all around me are people who are just trying to finish the best they can, just like me. It feels good. It's all the personal achievement. That's another great thing about any endurance sport. It doesn't matter if I can run further that someone else, because there's someone else who can run further than me. The sport focuses more on the personal achievement than any other I'm aware of. The Lake Placid Ironman was Sunday, and I read the women's winner (Heather Jackson) was back at the finish line at midnight when the course closes. She had finished eight hours earlier (new course record of 9 hours, 9 minutes). She was encouraging athletes just trying to finish. How cool is that? That's what the sport is all about. So if you're thinking about trying a run, whether it's a 3 km run or a full marathon, work hard and give it a shot. Everyone there will be encouraging, from the runner next to you to the professional up at the front. It's pretty great.
Oshkosh - I am super jealous. Some day I will make the pilgrimage. Some day... Fire Safe - The one thing that always survives a fire is your freezer. Double-ziplock-bag your important docs, put them on the top shelf of the freezer, or stand them up along the wall inside the freezer, and even if your house burns to the ground, your docs will be fine. (Proven, sadly, by friends of mine.)
Plus 1 to these bits. Regretting not going with my squadron when I was in Civil Airights Patrol. Haven'the really nerded out on planes in a long time, aside from peeks into #aviation. Enjoy it, Eng! Throwing in the lot for the fire safety zip locks as well. Keeping safes at hone are ten-fold easier than the hassle of a bank, especially if you need documents in short notice on your time.
A fire safe sounds like a good idea. I should get one myself. Thanks
We were at the beach last week and my wife wondered what would happen if we ran 5K on the boardwalk around noon with a "feels like" heat index of 106° (41°C). For the record, what happens is you sweat about as fast as you can drink for the following half-hour. I am trying not to think too much about an event in Tennessee I signed up for this September. Tracking down London Stone is a distraction for now.
I remember that London Stone post when it was new. It must have been one of the first things I read on Hubski. Keep me posted as the investigation unfolds. It's a fun mystery to follow.
Im going to be competiting in the National Poetry Slam next week in Decatur, GA. It will be my first time competiting at Nats and I'm excited. Here is a poem I did in June:
In a few hours I will be at a LAN party. Yes, they still exist. For those not aware of what an awesome thing this is, we get a room, wire it up, run networking cable, and invite 400+ of our dearest nerdiest gaming geek friends and play video games, eat junk food, talk smack and in general have one hell of a good 'ole time. Games will be played. Friendships will be made. Stories will be told. Shitposting in meatspace will happen. For five straight days. I need this as much as I need my yearly moshpit adventure else I end up like some sort of "normal" person. Eww. In other news, fuck the US healthcare system. I'm not going to get into a ton of details, but something is wrong with me, and we are trying to find out. This process involves me writing checks, lots of checks, and men and women in white lab coats telling me that they found nothing. (Not Cancer, not ALS, not Parkinson's, not heart garbage at least.) I'm going to hit my deductible, and all the stuff I can blame on the car collision last year has been ruled out, so I don't get the joys of a settlement out of it. Fortunately I do not live paycheck to paycheck and have a significant emergency fund so I will be OK for a while. My big fear now is that they find something that can be fixed, but find it in December so that I have to run through a deductible again next year. So all you young kids on my lawn asking for advice out there? Get fit and healthy and fucking stay there else you turn out like me.
What games will be played? Any personal favorites? Sounds like fun
Overwatch, Team Fortress 2, CS:GO seem to be the big ones. I'll end up playing Civ5 and maybe a Paradox game or three if I can get some good people interested. And also, I'm starting a Factorio map with the goal of winning the game in 5 hours with some peeps.
That LAN party sounds epic. The biggest I've ever enjoyed was 15 of us over four Xboxes connected via an Xbox hub, in a friend's basement. Man, so much fun. Sounds like you'll enjoy the hell out of it.
Somebody recently said "make time for fun" when talking over a few radio things, and it's something that I don't do much of anymore. Yeah, I'll book a show here and there but most of my time is consumed by at least thinking about something that involves working and expending effort. Some people have said I'm "crazy" with everything that's going on at the same time and that at this point that "radio is my girlfriend"... Maybe I have forgotten how to just go out and have fun. Either way, after finishing Sirens of Titan I came to the conclusion there are only two people I've truly loved in my life, so that's that.
That's more than zero. Be glad. As for resting... A brain that constantly works does not work at hundred percent all the time. It needs rest, it needs to let go, like any muscle in your body. But you don't work for the sake of working, do you? There's something to compell you to work as much as you do. Have you figured out what it is yet? If not, it may be a good time for you to do so.I came to the conclusion there are only two people I've truly loved in my life
Went to my 1st Burner event this past weekend and now I'm even more determined to make it to Burning man next year :) I had a good time. Still processing my arrival back from the 10 days in the promised land. In the process of renovating an apartment for airBNBing ASAP to have it ready for an upcoming festival. Can't wait for stuff to settle down a bit. I feel like I have not seen my friends, cleaned the apartment completely or gotten my shit together since I've been back from Asia. Is adult life always this hectic?
It's been something that I've been wanting to do for the past 2 years but after going to this regional (which was basically "fun camping" but I got a better feel for the people and they're awesome) I'm gonna make it a real priority for next year. Kinda changed the dial to "I'd like to go" to "I have to take steps to make it happen" :) I'll definitely PM you once plans to go are more concrete but I'd love to hear your Opinions anytime. Honestly, I think many people here would be interested. It should be it's own post whenever you have time man!
Too bad you are in Montreal... I have a really excellent Burner friend in Toronto that would be a great resource for you. I think you guys would hit it off. Burning Man is just ... so much of everything ... I'm not sure a single post would be very useful. I did write a bit of an expository piece on how I got involved with Burning Man, and my experiences there. Check it out if you want some history.
After a week or so of keeping an eye on things I think it's safe to say my dog is pretty much back to being 100% again. It's a huge relief. I see lots of cuddles and stinky frito feet in my future. The other day I saw what is probably the lamest television show I've ever seen. My Mother the Car. I will be the first to tell you that I don't always have high brow taste though I do very much enjoy some high brow stuff. This though was just too rough. Shallow plots, shallow characters, flat jokes, it really doesn't have anything going for it. Both Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie are from the same general era, have similar styles of humor, and are much, much better written. I'd recommend them instead. On a similar note, I don't know what it is, but there's something magical about Barney Miller to me. It's like Night Court. Both are honestly flawed in their own ways but both have a style and rythym to them that make them immensely enjoyable.
Feels weird with mk gone for so long. There is so much happening right now with Forever Labs, but b_b, ecib and I have it under control. Today, an angel fund is considering investing in us. On Monday we have a VIP client flying from LA to Michigan to have the procedure done. Then we are going to be interviewed by NPR/Michigan radio and then we head out west for a large biotechnology conference that we were invited to. Mm all the while we are hyper focused on raising a new round of funding. It's an exciting time as there appears to be healthy interest. I have determined that I am going to begin running again. I will start today. There's no excuse for the physical inactivity I've had of late. My dietary habits have improved substantially, it's time I add exercise to the mix. What use is it having my young adult stem cells set aside if I'm not treating my body properly?
I'll take a pitcher of water, pubkeeper. Soccer One of the soccer teams I play on just won the league's championship game! It was a double header since the semi-finals were the same day. It was yesterday and the first game started while the sun was still out, and I can't describe how hot it was. I saw a girl collapse from heat exhaustion, and I think the only thing that helped her was an ice pack we had that we essentially rubbed all over her body to cool her off, like the back of her neck and arms. Making money/Landlording/Moving into an awesome neighborhood I'm set to move in and take operation of a 2-bedroom 1-bathroom rowhome in a hip neighborhood of Baltimore. I want to turn it into a 4-bedroom 2-bath, and I very well could, it just requires some $$$. But I'm really excited to be a landlord. I love the idea of improving the house and creating a small community by renting out rooms. That'll be in November. I've (somewhat) arbitrarily decided that I want to have $5k saved before we move forward with it. Means I gotta save. Car I wound up finding and buying a car! A 2003 Civic with a manual transmission and 130k miles. It's in excellent shape and I'm happy with the deal. I had spoken about this car business to a lot of folks a few Pubskis ago. Instead of opting for a car payment and more expensive insurance on an undervalued but still way more expensive car (like $14k), and then selling it for some profit, I decided to buy a car outright and forego the whole affair. I can experiment with riskier ventures when I have the wherewithal for it.
I'm wearing a suit today. My usual attire is work pants (Carhartt's), work boots (Dr Martens or Timberlines), and a single color button-front shirt, untucked, with the sleeves rolled up. Yes, I am a writer. No, I don't work in construction. But the dudes working in construction need practical clothing that lasts a long time, and the boots they wear have to be comfortable all day long in harsh environments. So I look like a construction worker most days. But today I am going to meet a potential customer that is a government agency. So you put on the monkey suit and loafers, and you show them that respect. It's the first time I've worn a suit to my new job, and people are a bit stunned. All the ladies have been coming by my desk to check me out. They smile, nod appreciatively, and make appropriate positive noises. And tomorrow I will be wearing my comfortable clothes again. :-) Seriously though, my suit is custom tailored, so it is super comfortable, actually. Joseph Abboud. Nice stuff. I'd wear it more often, but I have been dressing like a construction worker for so long, I know I would destroy my suit in a day... I'd hear a funny noise under my car, and I'd roll under there on my back to see what was up, and... oops. I'm just not used to dressing nicely. In other news, I may be done with Facebook. The end is nigh. FB works really well for me, because I keep in contact with all my friends around the world really easily. But I am massively annoyed with the bullshit. So I have been radically culling my friends list down and eliminating most of my local friends. I can see them at events, the bar, parties, etc... I don't need to see their food photos. But my friend in Shanghai? Totally wanna see his food photos. And my friends in South Africa? Yep. Them, too. So I am thinking FB might just become my "foreign friends" tool. I haven't heard of anyone else using it this way, but I think it might actually make the tool useful to me again. We shall see...
I only keep facebook to keep track with poetry events really. Facebook arguments are some of the worst things out there and I always do my best to keep away from the drama.
What you need is Instagram, all the good pictures with none of the bullshit. I only had Facebook to keep in touch with friends who weren't local as well but I found out that even if you delete Facebook you can still use the messenger feature. Oh and also you can message people in Instagram as well.
I've never been an avid fan, but I definitely enjoy playing their songs in bands. Gord Downie is a great lyricist. example:
Hurts. Sneezing sucks. Can't sleep on one side. Find weird weaknesses depending on positioning. But transitioned from 4 Aleves and 8 Doans a day to 2 Aleves. Thanks for asking. Cleaned, tuned and rehabbed the bike. It's fine. Riding it is no prob. Helmet is thoroughly cracked. Wear your helmets, kids.
That's a great tip, actually. I didn't think about that. Since I bought the first one from REI outlet, and since I was able to replace it via Amazon for half off retail, I'm not bummed I didn't take advantage of it (Giro apparently will give you 30% off retail price bought directly from them) but I'll certainly remember it for next time! Thing of it is, I paid $60 for a bike helmet. Which, compared to what I'm used to paying...
Damn. Why the three extra months!? Did they underestimate the time needed? Is there any special recompense for the surprise they threw your way?
Shit tons more money? Enough hours to fill my bank? I generally explain my life like this: I have a job that provides me with an upper middle class lifestyle that also allows me to take eight months off a year. This year, it allows me six months off a year... and I'm not doing the extra work for free. Make of that what you will. It's stupid enough, though, that I'm going to need to buy a fucking laptop to do Pro Tools on while I'm down here just to keep up on the beta shit... and I've got a feature that needs to be done by the end of the year that I should probably jump on. The PT guys recommend Sagers because apparently they're the shit. Might just go ahead and get one, and an NVidia shield, because I'm thinking of replacing my Mac Mini Plex rig with one. Opinions welcome. I know fuckall about PC laptops but apparently you can still spend three grand on one.
I have a six year old Sager laptop that is still running. They do run hot but not the hottest desktop replacement I've owned. Build quality was great but that was six years ago when they were building off those massive Clevo chassis. The only thing that ever went seriously wrong with it was the hinges breaking three years in and past warranty. I know they redesigned their hinge since then. Those Clevo chassis were great, you could upgrade and repair your own laptop quickly with ease. The new Sagers are all thin and lite which makes me worry about heat but people say it's all right. They are also ugly as a top price Nike running shoe but not near the ugliest desktop replacments around (six years ago they offered plain brushed aluminium, understated and classy by comparison). Support was great the few times I used it. If they are as good as they used to be than they are very nice desktop replacments. The only company I can think of that will unambiguously offer better quality is Falcon NW, but omfg are they expensive. Falcon is in a class by itself, true laptop pornography. You have to clean the dust out often to manage the heat on my older model. Opening it up for cleaning is a breeze but it is a small hassle.
Sager makes good stuff and all of their laptops have i7-6700's in them, which is the one chip pretty much all workstation laptops need. I would check the reviews for heat throttling / fan noise though, because the heat in LA might turn those Sager laptops into miniature LAX'es.
just so I'm clear... you're working on a feature film? or you're providing feedback to pro-tools on a beta feature in the software? Either is kickass cool... just in different ways.I've got a feature that needs to be done by the end of the year that I should probably jump on.
Would you be willing to post your channel here? I don't know, nor think from your post history, that you studied for it before your move to Japan. But in case, I'm sure you may be aware the ACTs format was changed last year along with the SAT. On that note, does that mean you'really not bothering with the SAT?
time is a flat circle and the original Special Representative of Afghanistan and Pakistan (aka the office I worked in prior to my current gig) Richard Holbrooke negotiated both the Dayton Agreement and ended the conflict between the Kosovo Liberation Army and Yugoslavia so like there's a lil trivia for your Wednesday pub crawl
So, I got back from Montreal a number of days ago, I didn't post a trip report because I haven't really had the time to upload some of the pictures I took. The trip was pretty important for me. I've always been an anxious kid (and still have some problems), so for me to take a trip out of the country on my own (It was Canada, so I wasn't too worried) was a pretty big deal. I came back feeling a lot more confident in my ability to fend for myself. I think for me the trip was a test because I'm quickly approaching the time where I may have to move out for work. Granted I'm not sure I will ever REALLY be ready for the next step, but I'll take it anyway. Beyond the whole internal part of the trip, the external part was fantastic. I stayed in a pretty small hotel nothing too fancy, and I had a blast. I was only there for a few days, but I managed to visit numerous parks, the biodome, most of Old Montreal, and a number of museums. Montreal is a gorgeous city, and I definitely plan on returning to explore the rest some time soon. I'm still looking for work, but I think the hardest thing for me is I really have no clue where I want to be yet. I'm looking for work all across the board in any real field I think I might fit into. There are quite a few options, and I'm not too worried just yet. It's definitely a tedious process and now that I have all of my schooling affairs taken care of that is solely where my focus lies. I mean I have a small time job right now that I worked part-time during school (that I now work full-time at for the time being), so bills aren't an issue either. I guess the stress is mostly derived from the fact that I'm not sure where I belong in terms of work. I was honestly thinking of working for the democrats through the general election, but I don't know if I can really afford such temporary work. Health wise I've begun to start jogging a bit, but I'm gonna stop heavy cardio when I start lifting again soon. My eating habits have slipped a bit, but I haven't really gained or lost any real weight. A few tweaks here and there, and I should be healthy once again. Oh and this morning I clean installed Win 10 on my computer. Everything seems OK so far...
Been apartment-hunting for two days two days ago. Got exhausted and stressed out like never before, to the point of overload. Met a girl, Alyona, during the hunt. She was a host at the hostel I was staying in. I'm not sure I can say all the right things about her, but I have to let it out because in a week's time it will blur, so I'm going to say this: She was a philologist (lingustics + literature), so I had a chance to talk to her about humanities, which she was passionate about. That was good. She treated me well right from the start, which I don't get very often. She also had an impact on my life despite being in it for less than twenty four hours. She accomplished it by revealing to me something I never considered: that I might be tired and stressed - both notions I apparently have been trying to escape. When I couldn't figure out why I had no appetite and no desire to sleep despite running around all day, she noticed that I'm "on alert", which finally got me thinking about needing - not having to have occasionally - some rest. Overall, she was good to me, and I appreciated that. Also noticing that my music library for four years ago compared to today's is much more grim and down-tone, and at times outright depressing. Out for now. Back when I have things worthy writing about.
These are my go-to's when I REALLY need to get to sleep. I can go through then without guided meditations, relaxing my body to the point I forget I have muscles. Great stuff, so damn simple too. In the end, even if I don't fall asleep my body itself is well rested.
Rest is important. I love the feeling of being busy! It's great to feel like you're accomplishing things, that you're having a positive effect on others, etc. But as much as I love that, if I don't manage it by balancing it out with rest, I end up going crazy--either really depressed and unmotivated, or unable to sleep or think straight.