Someone recently told me "it's all about balance," regarding work and life. This is a common trope and I think it is what normal people think. People that work safe jobs at a 9 to 5. But people that tackle hard problems, that build first of their kind tools and applications can't think this way. They know it's not about "balance," but about an unyielding "obsession."
About a year ago I was talking with my grandfather about how much time I was dedicating to Forever Labs. I told him I felt "obsessed," and that it consumed most of my time and thoughts but that I've never felt more fulfilled.
Being an entrepreneur himself, he didn't hesitate, he looked me square in the eyes and replied, "there is nothing wrong with that."
Don't get me wrong, I make great efforts to be a good father/husband and friend. But you have to be obsessed to do great things. This is my aim.
So if you find yourself obsessed with solving a problem or building something new, I say "there's nothing wrong with that. Balance schmalance."
To me, obsessing means that I have this enormous internal drive to do something I care about. The result is that I'm laser-focused on achieving my goal. If I were to make a list of "things I've done that I'm proud of", I'm certain 80% of them were obsession-driven. My Ethereum thingy was made by spending an entire long weekend on it, writing and drawing from dawn till dusk. When I wrote my article a few months ago, I spent most of my evenings and weekends on that thing. I "wasted" an entire Sunday on creating a timelapse because I became obsessed for a bit with open-source Sentinel satellite imagery. Just don't feel bad for pressing the pause button on your obsession and you should be fine. :)
I think balance is going to look different to everybody, like it just means you're getting the right amount of everything you need to be happy. I talk to people all day at work and I'm generally somebody who needs a good chunk of time away from people. If I don't have a job where I talk to people I'm more likely to seek that out in my personal life. Either way is fine really, as long as it balances out in a way that works for me. In the end it's all about how you feel about the time or energy you dedicate to different things in your life, they might not all demand the same and nobody else can really say what will work for somebody else.
Agreed. I also find that my balance between work and home and social relationships enhances the happiness in my life. When something goes really well at work, people around me may care, or get jealous, depending on how secure or successful they are at the time. At home however, or with my brother, or extended family it's always nice to know that I can share with someone disconnected from my occupation and have them genuinely say, "Cool to hear that things are going well for you right now." Also, I find that, especially after we had kids, my wife and I found a far greater success with leaving work frustrations at work and seeing those frustrations as smaller and more compartmentalized. Heck, I also find that taking a break from obsessing with work allows me to have the perspective that has allowed for me to recognize my greatest solutions to problems I'm facing at work.