my war with the medical industry continues as my doctor fucked me over by giving me old information on how to get a surgery consultation, so now i have to scramble and call people and get some official letters scraped together because the insurance companies that have us by the balls have realized that the best way to avoid having to pay money is to make it as hard as possible for the t-words to put a claim in and yet i live, you rats!
Booked my first two flights and paid the deposit on the PADI diving class in Thailand. Arranged for my friend to take over my place - which works out perfect for everyone since I don't need to make the place extra clean like i would for an AirBNB and I can give her tasks like water my plants. She was storing her things in my basement anyway so she won't need to move much. And it leaves my ex access to all his stuff in the basement. It's a triple win! Having a date is also good pressure to get my affairs in order quicker. Dry January is going alright. Spent a completely sober weekend and it went well. I'm still depressed with trouble getting outta bed in the morning, but today i actually cleaned, made a soup, settled some trip planning and ate sushi with my best friend for his birthday. A better overall day than I've had in a while.
weekly girl update unclear if I’ll end up being wrong on if this will work out or not - I have learned, or had an epiphany over the last week, that what she wants even if she hasn’t said it explicitly is for me to tell her what I want, to take charge and plan actual dates and outdoors stuff for us, and that these are things she’s found attractive. I’ve shied away from that recently due to the dynamic of friends/lovers/etc…but so far this week, positive reception and results to the changes I’ve made in approach 🤷🏻♂️ spent Saturday night together, Sunday morning had sex again (yay), and spent Sunday night together. Maybe spending tonight together. Funny part is, she did go on a dinner date with someone else on Friday. Came back to me…
goddammit that is wildly accurate and reflects the current situation. It's more like 75% more time.
I've been married for a gazillion years, and I'm still learning what my wife wants. The point isn't to be perfect, but just to try, put some effort. Trying is like 99% of the battle. Sounds so easy when you say it out loud, but hard in practice sometimes.
It's even harder when the other person really isn't sure what she wants. Prime example, the other night, she's talking about how she's "not even truly sure if that's what she wants" in reference to dating other people, and how "she doesn't even have time for that, how she likes me, knows she likes me, loves spending time with me"., etc. Other examples include her asking me what communication I want, and feel like I should get, if/when she goes on other dates. My response? The only two things I need are (a) to know when you're going on a date involving the climbing gym we both go to so that I know what space to give her if that happens and (b) if she meets someone who she would rather spend more time with than me. That's it, the rest is as little/as much as she wants to share. Which surprised her, in a good way. She keeps making these stories in her head about all this.
This is honestly the first time in this saga I've felt there was anything healthy going on here, for either of you. And this is wonderful! Keep communicating your needs, and understanding her needs, and ... what more does one need? That's a good foundation, right there. "That's it, the rest is as little/as much as she wants to share. Which surprised her, in a good way."
Another recent example that seems healthy is we spent time together a few nights ago, hit around 10pm, asked what her thoughts were on spending the night together vs. apart. She stated she felt it would be good for her to have alone time, and asked how I felt about that because she was worried I would be disappointed. My response was that I was happy she was telling me her wants and needs, and that I had no expectation or spending the night but wanted to ask as it was getting late, no disappointment, etc.
BOOM! That's lovely communication and honesty, right there. That's the good stuff, because - even if it doesn't work out between you two in the end - you will both be clear on WHY it didn't work, because everything is up front and genuine and honest. I love this for you... honestly.
I envy your capacity to navigate this! I do hope it all works out. That seems very positive!! In your shoes, if we weren't exclusively seeing each other I'd be somewhat closed off. I would happily go on dates and continue to see her but there'd be a limit to what I'd be emotionally investing in. Certainly not saying you're going about it the wrong way! I suspect I'd miss out on the experiences and memories you're developing right now. This has reminded me, and it might not be something you can specifically answer so floor is open to all.. I'd heard that American's are surprisingly not very promiscuous? Obviously we can't generalize a massive country like that, but the American's I've met over the years here in NZ, have usually been quite surprised that A) we Kiwis have sex very early on in the "dating" phase (or just straight up one-night stands) and B) usually have quite a few partners in their lifetime. I always assumed we consume so much American culture that we followed suit and American's were similar to us when it comes to relationships, but apparently not!Came back to me
Did anyone else besides me notice that am_Unition's account is active again?
Guys, it's not a big deal. Sorry I left in a tizzy. I'll try to finally make it to shitting all over the recent optimistic fusion news within another week or so. Glad to be back though, but I'm still on twitter 😬
Well I hope it's for good reason, like your mental or physical health. We'll miss you. Not sure my time away was spent too well. It was mostly to witness the passing off of Twitter to Musk firsthand. I'll try to publish some insights from my experience, but it is great to even just interact with you and others here once again.
Haven’t had a drop of alcohol all month. Anyone that knows me knows that this is a feat. I’ve been lifting weights, playing tennis and practicing Krav. My knees hurt. Anyone under 40, be active now. Don’t wait. Do it all. All of it!!!!
NO! Hadn't even heard of it until this moment. I will definitely be watching it. Thank you!
My dog is finally coming out of her latest heat, and might be able to go to the dog park again this weekend. That'll be a relief... she's 100lbs of Anatolian Shepherd and Malamute, and while she is a very calm and gentle 2.5-year old, she needs to get out and run around with other dogs regularly. For a month now, it's been me and her taking walks in the parks and forests, and she's done being at the end of a leash with some goober that has a bad knee and can't run with her. :-) In less than two weeks I head off to Santorini for a week and Rome for a week. My Travel Team and I have decided to land in these two places and stay for a while, and do day trips out to explore the areas around... other islands, other cities, etc. This week I've embarked on a bit of a fitness journey. I'll be 55 this year and need to become far more flexible (Yoga and regular stretching), rowing regularly to maintain some muscle and aerobic exercise while I work on my knee issues (instead of just sitting at my desk all day), doing regular self-care (massages and pedicures), and eating a less-packaged diet (more veggies and meats, less breads and grains) because my body LOVES that food. Feels good to be largely on track. Oh. And work is going as well as can be hoped for. Review is coming up before the end of the month, so we will see if my boss agrees with my assessment.
Not picking sides... gonna wear our Seawolves kit, to show local pride while we are there. We are hoping it is warm enough to wear these silly Seawolves hawaiian shirts while we are at the game: https://shop.seawolves.rugby/products/2023-paladin-hawaiian-shirt
Oof reminds me of our Highlanders version. https://www.cooneys.co.nz/products/highlandershawaiianshirt?variant=37706153558192 I just saw in the local rag, one of our Otago players has been signed by the Seawolves - Charles Elton. Flew under the radar for too long to make it big here, but when I saw him play he seemed very solid. If I recall he can play all loosie options!
Ah yes! I saw his signing, and was wondering how he came up on the radar for our coach (Alan Clarke, "Clarkie"). I'm always curious about how new talent is discovered. Our #8, Riekert Hattingh, was a Blue Bull (and his father a Springbok), so we had a bunch of Saffa talent on our squad for a few years there.
First week back at work. Three new staff all starting the same day (and in different areas), so it's been hectic but they're all good eggs and they want to be involved. Makes the job a hell of a lot easier when they're asking plentiful and useful questions. This weekend I'm driving inland to a little town called Wanaka - it has this tree that just kinda hangs out in the lake. It's nice. The town itself is beautiful but also a hot spot for holidayers, so going after New Years is the best bet! Peas are close to being ready to harvest. None are making it inside. They're all getting eaten in the garden. This is my solemn vow.