- HERE’S an etiquette experiment for you: E-mail an invitation for a party, one month out, to 45 friends. Request an R.S.V.P. Provide a follow-up e-mail message, two weeks later, politely reminding them to get back to you. How many will?
You don't have to RSVP to this Hubski posting, or RVOM - but I do somewhat agree with the article. To solve the RSVP problem, I put on invitations: "RSVP acceptances only, regrets are understandable." - I don't want to hear about your competing events.
Even so, I co-hosted a literary gathering at my house and 11 people said yes, but then only six came. One got the date wrong and came a week later.
What is it like in the Hubskiverse? The article suggests RVOM:
- Répondez Vite — ou Mourez! For those friends of mine who plead a lack of high school French, allow me to translate. Respond Quickly, or Die!
I think the reason why RSVPs used to be so important is that before the Internet became widespread, sending out invitations to many people was a bit of a hassle. People had to respond (even if they weren't interested) because to do otherwise would lead the inviter to think that you possibly hadn't received their letter - also it shows appreciation for the effort put into sending out the letters in the first place. Explanations aside, I do think it's a shame that people don't always respond to invitations. Even if you're not interested in going, it is a way of saying thank you for being invited in the first place. EDIT: I like RVOM. At the very least it'll cause people to reply asking me what it means.
We recently threw a party that required an RSVP and we were astonished by how many people did not respond either way. Many of them showed up, but never bothered to tell us they planned on it. There are a lot of things that go into planning a party and it's helpful to know how many people will show up. I like he RSVP.
because to do otherwise would lead the inviter to think that you possibly hadn't received their letter
I'm increasingly thinking that people don't get my email (much the way I seem to miss interesting hubski posts). What I send might get put in a spam folder or buried in a bunch of other mail. If I haven't seen a person in a few months, it's possible I do not have the right email address. All this obviously points to using the phone and leavig a voice mail. I'm not sure that's necessarily any better.
When we did invitations to our wedding we worried a lot about people showing up and not saying they would. Even worse, people showing up with plus ones or kids when didn't indicate that kids or extra people who weren't explicitly invited. We did see a novel way to deal with people not RSVPing and then showing up. When you send out the RSVP leave some piece of information out, such as the exact time of event. Then the only way people will be able to show up is to ask you when the time is. This isn't perfect, however, as they could just ask someone else who did ask you when it is.