There is only one word that I find myself accidentilly still using in the pejorative that I know I shouldn't. I'm trying, really I am.
Do you have a word you wish you could shake?
It's an offensive word, but that's why we use it - it carries a lot of force. If an insult didn't offend anyone, it wouldn't be a very good insult. If we want to stop using retarded as an insult, we have to stop thinking that being retarded is a bad thing. Whether or not you say it is irrelevant. However retarded is only a recent entry in a very long list of words that used to have technical meanings but are now insults. Idiot, moron, cretin, dunce, imbecile, and spastic have all had specific definitions in the past.
Nope! I don't personally say any of the hot button pejoratives like gay etc. (except maybe every once in a great, great while when I slip), BUT I don't believe that certain words are inherently offensive. Period. Meanings are offensive, words by themselves just aren't.Do you have a word you wish you could shake?
I tend to agree that words are not offensive, intentions are. I was having a nice conversation with cW recently about this while on a nice run. The evolution of words that were once unsavory in polite conversation but are now commonly accepted is an interesting one. I believe the word "legs" came up. cW, what was it people used to refer to table legs as?
Oh, yes. Table legs. "Limbs" was what they called them. (That comes courtesy of Olive, by the way, whose dad makes period specific furniture). Apparently, in those times, there was much concern over those who "had legs," and beyond that, who knew "how to use them."
I do, with great frequency. In Ireland, retard generally only means "stupid," and no longer has any real connotations of mental disability (such people are referred to as 'disabled'). But anyway, it's all part of the euphemism treadmill. 'Idiot,' for example, used to have a meaning similar to 'retarded'. Then it became used as a pejorative, and people have to come up with a different word.
In Dutch it is common to swear/curse with diseased. Cancer, smallpox, tuberculosis and the plague are all very commonly used curses. Often combined to add more weight to the curse. Especially cancer is a hot issue since it is a common and bad disease. In some rare cases I also curse with disease (when I am really, really angry). I would like to get rid of that rare time I swear/curse with a disease. Also, telling someone to die isn't a good idea either. Better tell them to go and ride their bike.
I've never really used "retard" as an insult. But I've definitely said things like, "this is retarded", regarding a bad situation. -it's getting rare but occasionally it will still slip out.I prefer jackass, shitstain, fuckface, titballs, fuckernutter, turd burgalar, poopsmith, asswipe, fuckhole, bitchnizzler, and Kevin Bacon.
I can see why, those are far more civil and refined. :)
Ya I sometimes say "this is retarded" but it is rare and afterwards I make an internal note to say something else. There are certain words that acquire a very negative connotation and I have a family member who is mentally handicapped. He has to deal with being bullied and being called "retarded." So it makes me feel sick to think that I would let a word slip that brings so much pain to other people, even if when I say "this is retarded" I am really saying "this is stupid" or something like that. But on a deeper level it is wrong that I associate "retarded" with stupid, and that's the root of the problem. Even though my family member would get called "retarded" he is actually very kind, generous, helpful, and smart when you take the time to get to know him.
I"m in the same boat exactly. I have a cousin with Downs Syndrome and I think of him each time that word slips out of my mouth. I don't say it often but when I do I feel an immediate sense of embarrassment. The last time I remember saying it was on this day. I said it to mk and apologized. He admitted that once in a while he has similar slip ups. But I think I said it like 3 times that day. Was an emotional day.
I would like to use it, if only ironically, self-critically and in the manner of self-reference, wherein one mocks oneself and one's people-group, even while expressing nostalgia and the inescapable type of solidarity one cannot help but experience, for good or ill (we might call this "belonging?"), but the current of meaning and context is too strong on this one. For this reason, and also for the sheer glee of invention, when situations have inspired me, i have said "ritardando." "Molto ritardando," in fact. It's a music term, and it means to slow down extremely, and rapidly, and the first time I heard it, I giggled, because I thought I had discovered something juvenile in the hallowed halls of classical music. In truth, it expresses the real complaint of someone using the epithet, and yet, to my knowledge, has never yet been used to refer to those who suffer from neurological afflictions. Language is a game, and it can be gamed.
I've used that word as well, and I mentally kick myself every time I do. Been trying to break myself of this for a while now with a good amount of success. Old habits. It's made more difficult by a healthy sense of irreverence, but I don't think there's any excuse for using it as an insult in public, which I've managed to not do for a long time now. Actually, I've never used it to insult someone, but rather to describe situations unfavorably. Close enough. The substitute word with the closest feel for me is 'Lame', which is what I'm rolling with. Yes I know...
Yeah, I've never used it to insult someone directly. I use it more to say that a situation or an idea is not the best. I'm kicking it too. Old habits indeed...