guess who drove a fuckoff huge uhaul through chicago alleys etc without scratching it or anything else

every step of the move has been painful and irritating to the point of tears but the apartment and the neighborhood are wonderful

also i got the job! (pending hr final approval)

picking up the uhaul tomorrow, moving tuesday morning. I've toured the apartment finally and it's really nice, and i went down for a job fair as well that took 5 hours to stand in line and sit in a chair for an interview, but i met a lady who tipped me off for another opportunity so I'm glad i went

I'm having a goodbye pizza party with friends later today and i think I'm at the point now where I'm more excited than anxious. ready to start the new phase of my life

if anybody knows anybody in chicago that can hire an individual please let me know eh? barely joking

it's an autotorture device for schizophrenics on top of all its other amazing features

registration in for the emt program. doing future planning feels very strange. if all goes well i think i can become a paramedic by 2027 if that's the way i wanna go - which feels crazy that the turnaround can be that fast for a full pivot. apparently the city of chicago is absolutely jonesing for paramedics so maybe i can get in on the ground floor and end up in a union job by the time I'm 30. that would be fucking sick

still need money to bridge the gap though. still no job lined up for the meantime. i just gotta make it until january and then i can get an emt job (assuming i as a new program grad can get hired quick)

gwaa gwaa

uhaul pickup june 30, moving july 1. it's down to the wire and i'm touching the third rail. we do not have jobs locked up yet. i'm decided on the emt stuff - i have a program picked out to register for june 2nd - because it's the only thing that has given me passion in maybe ever, and also fuck it, this is the perfect opportunity to go crazy - and also my mom's mom said that she could so see me doing that "because {I'm} so empathetic"

i need something to hold us down for the first 6-ish months. I'm looking for hospital or doctor's office type jobs. I'm scared shitless about everything to be honest - and my boyfriend is too, because he's withdrawing into himself like he does at times like this. it's really hard. I'm gonna bring up couples' therapy to attend once we get there for a bunch of things, but generally the stress of the move and settling in.

i am checking procedural stuff off the list steadily, but there is still a lot to do, and i really really need to lock in on the job front because i've scoped out places but i haven't actually applied anywhere

I'm going to chicago on juneteenth to do some more procedurals at the utility companies and also to tour the apartment/neighborhood because we haven't actually done that yet because we had to snap it up right away because they were the only place to actually get back to us and so on and such as and etc

i had a 3-hour cry yesterday spilling my guts to a friend of mine who has navigated something similar (relationship strain while doing a long distance move). it's a lot, man. i feel like that one girl in the sitcom: I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so scared

I'm trying to see as many people as i can before leaving. I'm pre-missing them. I've never had this many friends, really good friends, and i get this thought when i head home that every time might be the last in a long time or ever. so with all that being said I'm tweaking

LAST WORD

May 22, 2025

I scored 7 words!

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Score as many words

as possible! Play at:

dragonfjord.com/lastword

what a cool idea :)

i think "the next 5-10 years" is exactly what i need right now, and then i worry about the pivot when i get there

i've been doing some searching and there are programs where a company pays for the course if you work for them for a year after you get certified, and to be honest even if the job they lock you into sucks, I'm fine with a year of a shitty job because it actually means getting a job, and at least they give you hours

i'm already moving so i might as well go in headfirst, right?

i have been tweaking about the future lately and I'm strongly considering becoming an emt. i can't remember if we have anybody that has done that on here, but i wanted some insight on that and also from people who have made drastic career changes

any chicagoan hubskiers? we have our apartment for july

10 joints to spliffindor 😎

millennials will be hailed as the new boomers in like 20-30 years and not just because they'll age into that demographic slot

americans do not know how to age gracefully

there's latent violence and pedophilia in the relation between men and women, and sometimes it's not quite as latent as one might like, and somebody more well-read than me could probably talk a lot about it - but my opinion is that turning child rapists into the ultimate boogeymen has the side effect of making it into the ultimate perversion. that's where the grain of truth lies in the article.

when people talk about this i am constantly reminded of this album by whitehouse where they collaborated with an open pedophile. it has a "song" on it that is just recordings of victims discussing their abuses that he got off of normal-ass news broadcasts in the 80s and 90s. the difference between that voyeurism and the voyeurism of true crime is that he's literally masturbating to it instead of just obsessing over it. you don't need to delve into the depths of the Internet to indulge in this stuff cause if you have eyes to see it, it's everywhere

bouncing to something else: there is a lot of fiction written by and targetted at women that is truly heinous, and i understand the impulse behind writing and reading it. if i write a porny story about being assaulted by a doctor or being thrown in men's prison, i am defusing that fear in myself of being repeatedly screwed over by the people that keep my people down. people are drawn to the stuff that is over the line for the exact reason that there's a line to cross.

i just worry that anti-sex measures will fuel the fires of fetishization. the purest creeps are the ones who can veil it. it disturbs me that we can draw a line and say that an 18 year old is an acceptable target for your average Leo Dicaprio and a 17 year old isn't, or that buying a girl drinks to make it easier to fuck her is normal but paying her directly isn't, or on and on - and the more i stare into it, the more i start feeling like one of those second wave ladies who say that all sex is rape, which is concerning when my takeaway is still in the end a sex-positive one

i have no point in this other than i don't know where we socially go from here, and sometimes it scares me

i read this earlier and it's cope, you might accidentally see something gross but you're not gonna get brainwashed into cranking it to child pornography unless you have a desire to do so. there is a very large sector of people out there who manage to watch a lot of porn and yet never become pedophiles and this is another british trick to repress and control what they consider socially deviant

we are all weeping and wailing and feeling so bad about this out here in the parking lot to civil society

does anyone know what elite overproduction means? i can't read because of DEI

But also maybe people feel more impetus to do it because we're getting stuck.

this is insightful. the pandemic was the "egg cracker" for a lot of trans people - lots of time alone with yourself, having to deal with being in your own skin without distractions, not having the daily pressure to keep up appearances - i think in our "atomized world" or whatever people call it, this is common. it goes for more gays in general too: if you're a prospective lesbian and you don't get instalocked by Some Guy because you got teen pregnant and you can't open a bank account by yourself, you actually have the chance to develop your own identity instead of just repressing all your life

https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1902993602227167489.html