General incompetency in every day situations.
Incompetency occurs when people make decisions based on the information that they have but you have far more information. Sometimes this is their fault (ie: ignoring instructions, failing to learn from past mistakes). Sometimes this is caused more innocently because they are simply stupider or more ignorant than you are. Sometimes they didn't begin with the information they needed to complete the task / make the decision you would have made. Thusly, I begin by calling whoever caused this annoying pain point a massive idiot and deciding I am far superior than them. Then I take a deep breath and attempt to figure out how to solve the problem caused by the incompetency as painlessly as possible. As an example: My boss responds to a client without checking with the creative team first. His answer to the question is dead wrong and he also wrongly assumed that the changes they requested were simple ones. They aren't. Typically, if I were in control, the request would have prompted a change order and additional payment. Initially, I scream (internally) "you're a fucking idiot, boss." Then I say okay. Then I breath. Then I have a smoke. Then I figure out what it will take to make the changes and let him know. Then I make the changes. He's the one losing money over and over by doing free work. I still get paid.
PS: I would love to see kleinbl00's response to this. He seems to handle it in a variety of ways. :p
Just for you. Although, to be clear - that isn't me responding to incompetence. That's me responding to brashness, an argument I disagree with, slander, and a difference of opinion (in that order). I think we might disagree as to what "incompetent" means. To me, it means someone who not only lacks the skills to deal with the task or challenge they're presented with, they fundamentally lack the ability to gain those skills. Ignorance is acute. Incompetence is chronic. Either way, the fact that you have to "deal with" incompetence implies that it's flowing through you in some way. We'll also assume that it's incompetence that you can't dismiss, that you can't wall off, that you can't pass merrily along to someone else. Believe it or not, I start with empathy. I've got a buddy. He's been doing my job for a lot longer than I have. And he's easily distracted, and he's often frustrated, and he doesn't sleep so well. He's ragged edge of flaming out most of the time. But he's got a heart of gold. It's like hanging out with Winnie the Pooh. He means absolutely nobody any harm and he's got a family of five to feed. And there are jobs that he's working - that other people are more qualified to work - because we just can't bear to see him crash and burn. I wouldn't call him incompetent, but there are days when his behavior is indistinguishable from incompetence. And the best thing is to double-check his work on the sly, and make sure that he's got all the information he needs, and check up on him, because in most jobs 90% of it can be done by an absolute idiot so you hope that today isn't a ten percent day (or if it is, he rises to the challenge). And fortunately for him, he's an easy guy to empathize with - so even when the clients see that he didn't exactly bring his (non-existent) A-game, it all sort of works out. The "incompetent boss" problem I'm a little mellower than you. I think you'll find that you're not the only person who knows they're incompetent. You might be surprised to know that they know they're incompetent, too. Your job, from their perspective, is to enable their incompetence. The good bosses, were you to scream "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!" at them, would scream back "I KNOW! FIX IT!" It's actually not a bad place to be. Pretty much anything you can do to staunch the bleeding is an improvement; an incompetent boss with self-awareness lowers the bar in a maddening but manageable way. An incompetent boss without self-awareness: now that's a danger sign. You are going to be blamed for shit that you will have zero control over. You will be judged on parameters utterly beyond your ken. And you will be held to an arbitrary standard that may not even apply to your local space-time continuum. Those bosses you want to get out from under, as quickly as possible, making as few waves as possible. If done correctly, they won't even remember your name. That's one of the advantages of freelancing - you get through the gig and you swear never again. PS. You have a choice: (A) smoke (B) live in Southern California. You can't do both or you'll look like an alligator handbag in glasses before you're 35. At least switch to e-cigs. They have cool LEDs and shit.
If Louis CK tripped into an existential fusion chamber with Kurt Vonnegut, you'd be standing there when the smoke clears, looking at the machine and pointing out how shitty your creation was. i mean this in a good way.
Knowing where one of the links goes: I'm tired of this shit. Genuinely.
Arguing with kleinbl00 is like a rite of passage. We all have a few. You'll learn to love and respect while despising his words once you give up on being 100% right. No one is ever 100% right. Additionally, kleinbl00 is an exceptional writer who enjoys a proper argument and will find and point out every case in which you are not right. But that's okay. He's not 100% right either. I'm just not skilled enough to even attempt to find and argue any weaknesses in his argument. Take what you can from his points, stand by your own point of view where you see fit, and don't waste 10k words unless you truly feel it is beneficial to you (and want your 10k words broken down). He will break it allllll down. Sometimes it's best to just read, agree to disagree, and move on. Ain't nobody got time for too much of that.
Hmm. So I'm typing on a phone and I have to wake up very early, in a few hours actually, so I should be going to bed, and while none of this is your fault, I describe my cramped, fatigued position because I want you to know how important it is I think you hear this. I think you should give an honest attempt at seeking to understand others. It's very often a thankless job, but you get a lot (well, two) things out of it. 1) patience. By seeking to understand others even when we don't feel as understood as we'd like to be is practice for every other time in life that your patience will be tested, which is all the time. And, sometimes, all too rarely, but ever so rewardingly, we get 2) to be understood. When you seek to understand others, you'll find that sometimes the favor will be reciprocated. I don't mean this in a heavy handed way, and if you believe I'm merely sticking up for my Internet friend or ganging up on you by saying this, please don't, because not only (as has been pointed out) does kb need no help from me, I say this because you said you're tired of this shit. Genuinely
I make some snap decisions whether to engage or not.
Usually not. I look at my imaginary tatoo:
There are three kinds of people in the world: Honest people, who say they are going to take all your money and then do so. Dishonest people, who say they want to help you, but really want to take all your money. and incompetent people -- who really do want to help you, but end up spending all your money by making everything worse.
But more importantly I remind myself of these wise words: God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Reminded me of this quote nodding to the principles of Occam's Razor:Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity
Whose incompetence? Mine or others'? My incompetence: Try to learn from my mistakes. Others' incompetence: Try to correct when appropriate. If not, do one of two things: 1) Grumble about it out of earshot using the nastiest words I can think of 2) Lambaste the person
I'm not saying that what happens when I deal with my or others' incompetence is the ideal (the ideal is that everyone realizes their errors and fixes them). I'm saying that this is the way it can turn out. It also ultimately comes down to whether the person perceives at any point in the process whether they have been incompetent. I can constructively criticize all I want, but the other person has to conclude they fucked up to change. They don't? I get tetchy.
From what I know about you, you're probably going though some tough times. People can seem selfish and incompetent, especially family, or even strangers on the internet. But the times aren't that tough yet. There's so much incompetency in the world that people will start to assume your own incompetence, even if it isn't so. I think incompetency is absurd and wildly hilarious. Please check out The Dog of the South.