I use some pretty standard tools when I'm "seducing." I mirror my opponent, using similar body language and hand gestures to put them at ease. I paraphrase often, "so what you are saying is x,y,z..." and then I use their own words to reinforce my cause. But the thing I do more than most in my profession is to challenge them. I'm not afraid of pushing them. "Why don't you currently do business with us?" "What makes you feel that way?" "How did you come to this conclusion?" and if there is fault in their answers, I will call them out on it. -I really enjoy this. By the end of a meeting, I don't want them to reluctantly sign on a dotted line, that would be "planting a flag." No, I want them to be a staunch ally. I want to know that in 6 months when I need an endorsement letter for a peer in their industry, they'll gladly write it. Anyone can plant a flag, not everyone can make an ally.So next time you find yourself in a complex debate, decide what your intent is: to seduce through a portal, or to plant a flag.
I work in business development (sales) and I have essentially made a career of "seducing through a portal." I cannot attempt to "plant a flag" and take a quick "see, I told you so" type of victory. I wouldn't win much business for my organization that way. However, when I take the time to argue constructively and challenge my "opponents" perceptions, good things can and often do happen.
This is exactly how I prefer to do business. My clients are part of a network of people with similar goals for their employees, and I don't (Usually) fight for a contract when the person's goals are not in alignment with mine. Mutually beneficial business is always better in the long term than coercive business.By the end of a meeting, I don't want them to reluctantly sign on a dotted line, that would be "planting a flag." No, I want them to be a staunch ally. I want to know that in 6 months when I need an endorsement letter for a peer in their industry, they'll gladly write it.