Before anyone thinks "This sounds totally like a first world problem, I work till 6 every day", please read my text first.
Since I work (4 years now) I always came into the office at 7 in the morning, so that I could leave around 3:45 in the afternoon. I value my private life and my free time a lot. I either use it for my hobbies (mostly gaming), I use it to spent valuable time with my fiancee, take care of my nephew when my sister is busy or other family business like walking the dog etc. besides obvious stuff like grocery shopping. I like going grocery shopping and eating dinner and then it's only 7pm, NOT 9pm.
So far everything worked out perfectly, I had spikes here and there, where there was a call with the US (I live in Europe) and I had to stay till 5 here and there. That's okay with me, as long as people arrange our meetings so that they're fine with me, I'm fine with staying longer a little here and there, or if there's a busy phase of the project and one week I stay longer an hour every day. That's fine. I think you get the point, I have my priorities, but I'm not stubborn.
But recently they changed the times of some meetings until 5pm, and that already made me go "ugh" about the work, but it was on Mondays and bi-weekly Wednesdays, too. I didn't like it, but well, as I said, I'm not stubborn and I have to do some sacrifices.
Now to the main problem: This morning I went to work, checked my mails, and what's in there? A weekly (!) meeting invitation, going from either 4:30 till 6 or sometimes even 5 till 6:30. I totally don't want to go there. I hate it already. It does not reflect my values and how I want to spent MY time in MY life. In the meeting are 12 people invited, so I don't assume they can move it to any other time slot. I don't want to stay at work twice till 5pm and once till 6:30. I want to be home at 4. In contrast to them, I value my free time I have, I don't live to work. I don't want their work ethics pushed onto me. But in this case I'm a little lost in what to do.
It' obvious I have to confront my boss's boss (that's the meeting organisator), but I don't know what to do. Should I stay adamant and if the meeting is not movable I tell him I won't participate because it doesn't fit in my work-life-balance philosophy? The reaction would probably be huge disappointment by him, at least (that's what I expect). If I agree now, what will be in the future? When there's a second meeting till 6pm? What if I'll have children with my fiancee in a couple of years? Will I not see them because I'm home at 7pm then? Valuing my free & family time was this untouchable fortress for me, so far, that I insist on and I thought my colleagues respect that. But now I'm lost and I don't really know what to do. I already made a list with possible compromises, but they still wouldn't make me really happy and I think someone might still be disappointed by me, somehow.
Any advice on how to handle this situation, maybe even from someone with experience with such a case, would be highly appreciated. Thanks for reading my wall of text.
Hi - I feel for you. I was in a similar situation when I was just about to have a child. I ended up leaving that employer, but that might not be the answer for you. First things first - are you expected to go to these meetings? Will they implode without you? Can you decline and it wont be thought much of? Is it forever, or just for a while? Where I am (not Europe) I tend to see European countries as generally being progressive about workers rights, and European employers generally being progressive about work/life balance - can you talk to your bosses boss and explain how you come in early and thus leave a little early so you can get these other 'life' things done at a reasonable time? If you cant decline the meeting or talk to your higher ups about it in a reasonable manner, maybe you can claim you have to be home at a certain time due to family commitments? Like having to pick up your nephew from school or something. Employers don't need to know your whole life situation to know you have a non-movable commitment. Anyway, it looks like you may have to have a long and hard think about your role in this organisation if its not living up to what you consider to be your work/life balance - staying and growing angry and resentful can be worse for you in the long run than if you found another job.
Thanks for the input! Yeah, I think I'll go the "Oh, I have commitments!" route, because then they can't argue. I'll approach them with a couple of compromises, which would be kind of okay for me, in the meanwhile. I just want to get this whole "oh, you can work till 6? that's nice!" thing started. Or when I'll have kids in a few years I won't be able to reverse it. Thanks again :)