Yikes. Condolences! I had halfway screwed up my face to thinking about liking them but that whole "twice as big as an RX-3 with the same sized engine" thing kinda didn't help. Truth? I hate turbos. I'm willing to sacrifice some efficiency in favor of fucking throttle response, thanks.
I got a twitter message from Land Rover a short time later asking for my contact details, and a follow up message that a customer service rep would be in contact with me soon. We'll see how they handle it. Not sure what they can offer, but I suppose some kind of credit would be nice. It'd be nice to know a guy could get rewarded for not-very-carefully-considered internet vitriol. I'm not quite sure how I feel about turbos. I had one on my 1993 Eagle Talon, and I thought that car was sweet, but I was 17, and anything that rolled was sweet to me at that time. I hadn't driven another one until the Evoque, and I agree with your point about throttle response. Works well enough on the freeway, but from a stop it's pretty damn slow to kick in. Technically my 2016 1.5L Malibu has one, but I can't say it kicks in too often. I drive that car pretty soft, because, well, it's a Malibu.