I don't use the internet the same anymore. I can't contribute the same way. I might be here again
Thanks. I love you too. Please update Re your life and mom. :-( mom’s dying is sad. It might be too soon, but sometime in the future, listen to this series on grieving. I found it very helpful. https://www.cnn.com/audio/podcasts/all-there-is-with-anderson-cooper
When my dad was diagnosed with myeloma I told him I didn't know what to say. He said there's nothing to say about it. Rather than talk about our feelings, which my family never really did, we just continued shooting the shit and joking and sending each other the equivalent of cat pics for old people. Despite myeloma being incurable, it's treatable and some people last a long time and you kind of cling to the hope that this case will be one of those. Despite the statistics. When the melonomas appeared though, every conversation became incredibly weird and difficult because we both basically assumed we were just waiting for him to die, which he did quite soon. Sorry for making this about me and again, I'm not really sure what to say to you. The death in life sucks. Not sure about your relationship with your mom is like, but I hope you can avoid my situation of being weirded out talking to each other.
Shit. That situation sucks. That's all there is to say. I'm in the waiting room for radiation oncology at Henry Ford Hospital ,Detroit. I''m getting Radiation treatment 3of4 for arecurrent glioma. Been surviving it for over ten years now. No cure for gliomas either. We've been managing this shit for over ten years now. Not all of ithas been terrible eitherthough. I'v e had some amazing times with my kids and family. Times that are farmore amazing as I didn't think knewthey were guaranteed. I heard a hopeful statement about situations like ours. "It doesn't always get worse." It's true. I No one's disease is the exact same. Only by keeping fears at bay can we get our best result. I hope you guys find yourselves feeling better soon. I also work hard to live by ," It's rarely as bad as you think it will be and rarely as good as you think. Lastly, I've learned to recognize and discard related fearful thoughts that pop into my head. Listening to your random fears will drive a person to make terrible decisions. Also , sorry as my typing is shit. My last two surgeries f-ed up my left field of vision. navigating a keyboard by sight is super tough.
Hope the treatment is helpful in your struggles. not just bad decisions, when you focus on something it just grows and bad habits like that are so easy to pick up. After the radiation, how does it affect you? And how long 'til you recover fro that? I've learned to recognize and discard related fearful thoughts that pop into my head. Listening to your random fears will drive a person to make terrible decisions.
Thanks for asking. I'm more tired than usual after radiation. I did run 3miles last night. It was 60 degrees F in Michigan. last night. Couldn't pass that up. I've notiiced my left field of vision is shittier. My w and I went shopping for the week tonight. I'm having more trouble walking in public places. People that cut in front of me from my left aren't noticed immediately and I'm likely to bump ibto them. That makes me fell like an idiot. I aplogized to a shopping cart I didn't see today. thinking it was a personat the time. Fucking annoying to me.
Whoa. cat pics ? Sometimes life gives us a shit sandwich. I believe it's time to dig in and deal with the shit. Weekly , I see a psych regularly. . IIn one of our first sessions she grabbed my attention asking," What about death scares you?". I remember tresponding," Well, It's death and it sucks. Ihave shot I wanna do. "i'll miss my family. As a-recovering Catholic, I soon recognized-she was ferreting out whether or mot I was all hung up on amI headed to heaven or hell stuff I'm glaf to have visited those ideas. I've settled on death being very much like therelevance of my existence to the workd before I was born Her question slapped me in the face, but was necessary. Is it realistic to see a professional? I see mine weekly. It makes all the difference.