I told my sister two and a half years ago that our mother was either going to die of MRSA or she was going to die of C-diff. It's looking like C-diff.

"dying of a bacterial infection because you didn't do your physical therapy so you can't wipe your ass cleanly so your UTI hospitalizes you so you catch a killer bug that murders you with diarrhea" is Dante's Inferno stuff for this woman. Fuckn My sister, however, wasn't always mistreated by her so she's trying to save her life. I've been counseling her through it all and providing what advice I can. She ended up extracting the bitch (and her senile husband) to a Romanian-run homecare in Redneckistan, CA, where the C-diff came back super-mean. The senile husband has been busily flushing his diapers which backed up the plumbing which flooded the house which caused three staffers to quit. Meanwhile my mother is such a cantankerous bitch that two skilled nursing facilities (where she did time recuperating from various bouts of c-diff) have already refused to take her back.

There are two things that suck:

1) My sister is neglecting her own kids to deal with this bitch who, now that she's chased away everyone else, is treating my sister the way she always treated me

2) My sister is not having a good time with it so I'm having to be simultaneously sympathetic while also dancing around the subject of "she's been this nasty to me my entire goddamn life"

The bitch disowned me over email about 30 seconds after the offer on the house was accepted. She'll probably be dead before I can move in. My daughter overheard me conversing with my sister in the car and asked what's up; I told her "your grandma is going to die of a nasty infection because she didn't keep up on her exercises enough to be able to wipe her own ass." My daughter responded with "this may be an insensitive question, but are we going to the funeral?" to which I laughed and said "hell nah I doubt there will even be one."

I've been grappling with the certainty that I'll never get to live in this house. I will be dead before that happens. It's just the law of the universe. The silver lining is in counseling my sister through her misadventures, I've been able to explain and rationalize and predict the bitch's behavior in such a way that it helps my sister cope. At one point I said

"she judges her happiness on a relative scale; it's not really important that she's objectively enjoying herself, what's important is that everyone around her is more miserable than she is"

and I heard it

and I realized that my sense of doom about success and personal advancement isn't some superstitious outcome of low self-esteem, it's a learned bias well-grounded in my own personal experiences growing up.

I still don't think I'll live to sleep under that roof. But I now know why I think that.

One thing's for fuckin' sure she never will