I saw this on BBC and it reminded me of scrimetime's post about an alternative theory of love based on 'micro-moments'.
Naturally, one of the striking things about that article was that it made salient the discrepancy between how people perceive love and how it supposedly actually happens. People have all sorts of personal and cultural ideas about what love is that are radically different to Fredrickson's thesis.
I think an over-emphasis on the extreme passion of young love is bad, because it doesn't last forever, and when it leaves couples are probably left standing in the dust. Being "in love with love" sounds clichéd, but given the extraordinary happiness it puts people in, it's hardly surprising that people actively seek out love, and sometimes get bored of partners.
Though I can't say I fully buy Frerickson's idea, it is interesting to think about how things would be if people looked at love in this way. One interesting consequence would be an altogether different view of how love works, in the sense that people would not make the mistake of thinking that love begets love. Or, to put it another way, people might be less likely to think that 'love' has a magical, a priori effect but that it's the other way around - relationships shape love more than vica versa. (Maybe. I'm no expert.)
I think an overly romantic idea of love probably makes a lot of people end relationships because of minor problems that make them think 'if this person was The One, this wouldn't happen' - at the same time, of course, people have to be careful not to be too accepting.
As an aside, I've read somewhere (it is lost in the mists of time) that being in love and doing cocaine are similar in their effect on the experience of pleasure; not only do they release pleasure-inducing chemicals such as dopamine, but they actually lower your pleasure threshold, so that everything is a bit more enjoyable. Essentially, when you're in love (or on cocaine), life is better.
I think your commentary beats the tar out of the article. Whenever I see someone writing about a complex emotion as if it were a simple, monolithic thing I wonder what difficulty they went through that caused them to write the article. In this case, you don't even need to go that far - the author just self-published a book on Amazon two weeks ago. It's fundamentally silly to suggest that "love" is a concrete thing that always has the same characteristics and strikes everyone in the same way. Whenever someone says "our idealized notion" they really mean "my idealized notion" unless they've got backup; Mark Vernon does not. Scrimetime's post has science behind it; Mr. Vernon is certainly entitled to his opinion but I certainly don't find it relevant to my life.
My take on love has vacillated between the overly cynical (it's just dopamine trying to get me to procreate and pass along my genes) and the overly romanticized (each of us has a soulmate in this world - and I happen to have found mine several times between the ages of 16-24!). My current view is very much akin to what Conor Oberst describes in Bright Eyes' First Day of My Life: With these things, there's no telling: we just have to wait and see. There's never certainty in interpersonal relationships, and even marriage is no guarantee of couples staying together for life. I could wait for decades - and until I'm long dead - to find someone who's perfect for me. I could break up with partners at the first hint of something bad (as I've done on many an occasion). However, the chance of me "winning the lottery" and finding someone who's ideal for me in every way is so incredibly small that it might as well be nil. Instead, I'd rather work for a paycheck: find someone with whom I can evolve and grow, and work on my relationship with him or her steadily over the course of many, many years. I'm engaged now to a wonderful person who is wonderfully flawed, and in many ways incompatible with me. But we can get through fights in a way I've never been able to with others, and we're willing to compromise to be with each other. I haven't struck the lottery with him, but I've got a stable job and a promising future. The song sounds cynical, but it's a gorgeous song from someone who is deeply in love and ready to try his best to make it last.So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me
Great video related to the subject at hand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lwv2yHN1Yac