This is an excerpt from her new book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns).
The thing that stays with me after reading this is how she describes entrenchment in one's life. Entrenchment is awesome.
I've always been a little annoyed by her on screen (I know she plays annoying characters, so . . . she's good at that?), but I've read some things she's written here and there and I like her much more for it. I was also struck by that idea of entrenchment and realized that that's what drove me from my previous line of work and living situation. Of course, now I'm in a bit of a limbo, but I am doing what I can to become entrenched.
I'm with you on the "annoyed" bit but you lost me at the "like her much more for it" part. She's a writer, for fuck's sake. The term she's looking for is responsibility. "The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something." Mortgage. holes in wall. Goldfish. Appointments. The term she uses is "Commitment." "Dedication; application." You can be dedicated to following The Dead. You can apply yourself to becoming a champion Starcraft player. This is as sophisticated as a game of "marry fuck kill." Speaking as a guy who had friends released into his custody by the police at 18, who put up his own Christmas tree at the age of 8 because my parents were too distracted to bother, "Mr Marry" doesn't get as much play as either Mr. Fuck or Mr. Murder until the ladies start feeling responsible, too. So really, what we have is 500 words of profundity that boil down to 1 Corinthians 13:11:When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
Right, I'm not saying that I'm a fan of her writing, but I'm saying that the things I've seen that she's written adds more to my perception of her than what I know of her as a TV actor. So to me, she's gone from cartoon character, to a performer who is at least aware of who her audience is and takes the time to comment on a problem that might be common to that target audience. Sometimes, "marry, fuck or kill" is an improvement. For me, "annoyed" is a pretty broad sea.
I don't know how I feel about this. It seems to kind of miss the mark. The way she says it makes it sound kind of like regressive traditionalism. Why look for an entrenched partner? Not being entrenched isn't a bad thing. People will go through that phase and reach a point in their lives where they want to be entrenched and circumstances allow it. If you want to be entrenched then you probably want a partner who does too. If there's a mismatch, it will be a problem. What you shouldn't do is go out and get a mortgage ASAP. Houses cost a fucking fortune now and jobs tend to be shit. It's not about being entrenched, it's about being entrenched on your terms. Ignoring the last part is a recipe for unhappiness.