I'm on here a lot about my issues and how I feel and things like that. I hope that's no big deal. I'm just having a lot of problems with things in life right now.
Right now, I feel like a failure. If you've seen my previous post (chances are that you haven't), you should know that I've been having a lot of trouble finding something I like doing and will do as a career or something like that.
But it's not just that I'm having trouble finding it. It's also that when I do find something I'm interested in, I try to pursue it but I just can't. Sometimes I can't do it because I don't have the money, sometimes I have no clue how to start pursuing, sometimes I just quit looking because I don't know if I'd like it and using that time trying to learn it is awful and I don't like any second of it... The list goes on.
And that's one of the reasons why I feel like a failure. Because I don't know what I like. I don't know myself and what I would love doing and trying to figure out what that "thing" is, is something I can't/don't want to do. That sounds a bit weird, right? I don't want to find that "thing". But I just don't. Even if people tell me "Go try!", it just makes me want to not do it even more. It's like if I do that and fail, I'll disappoint my friends and the people that support my decision. Which has happened several times.
Whenever I mention to my friend Adam that I want to "research and learn things about this", he almost always asks, "How long are you gonna be at it this time?" My friends are getting tired of me constantly being lost in life and honestly, I am too. I hate this. It's not fun. It's no free time. My free time is dedicated to wallowing about in self-pity, pretty much. I don't like myself. I honestly think sometimes that if someone could help me out and walk with me through a few different career paths (or even introduce me into some of them so I can get my feet wet) I would be doing better. But that's not an actual thing, now is it? I don't think so.
My apologies for this rant-ish thing. I'm fed up with myself. If anyone has any kind of advice or anything, that would be cool. I want to hear your thoughts.
First step - You have to like yourself. Nothing in your life is ever going to end up working out if you can't enjoy who you are. You need to take care of you first and foremost.
"Holy shit, this is not for me at all!" Oops. No big deal. At least I'm progressing somewhere.
Edit - Markup, again.
Surely you have interests. What are they? What one interests you the most? Do you think that there's a market for you to sell the product of your interest in a way that will allow you to live the lifestyle that you want? Could you create one? Are you willing to do the amount of work that it's going to take to monetize your interest? How about #2? #3?
Let's say you picked something. We'll go with underwater basket weaving. Hop on Google, and search for some underwater basket weaving forums. Pop in, say hi. See what's going on. Still look like fun? If so, keep searching. See if there's a local underwater basket weaving club. Stop by and see how things work. Talk to people. See what their experiences are. Put yourself out there and give it a shot. Oh, damn. Turns out that you don't really enjoy the whole underwater part of underwater basket weaving. Back to searching. You didn't fail, you just found something that didn't work out for you. You're one step closer to success.
Let's say you have decided that you just want to have your interests as hobbies. You're not inclined to turn your interests into work. You want a "traditional job." We'll go back to our previous question. What kind of lifestyle do you want? Ballpark how much that's going to cost you. Aim high. You'll probably want a significant other at some point. Maybe even a few money pits -- er, kids. What kind of money are you going to need to make to fulfill your needs and those of your potential family? Search for jobs that pay in your determined range. What one looks interesting? What do you have to do to get there? Are you willing to do it?
Don't get all bent out of shape because you don't know what you want to do. I'm 25 and am finally starting to aim myself down a course that I think I'll enjoy. Maybe something else will catch my eye along the way. Maybe I'll show up day one, diploma in hand and realize
The road to success isn't straight. There's likely not going to be a nice, smooth path for you to travel with a rainbow and a pot of gold at the end. There are going to be great times, where it feels like you're just cruising and everything is clicking. There are going to be times when it feels like the world is beating you up and kicking you when you're down. But you won't be worried, because you know that you're getting somewhere. Enjoy the journey.
Lastly, if all of this seems like the ramblings of someone that just got off a 12 hour shift and should've been in bed about 2 hours ago, you're completely right!
Thanks for the reply. I'll keep all this in mind!
First thing you need is a job. You need a job for money, money to do things. You need money so you can go out and experience the world. If it sounds even kinda interesting and you have the funds, your going. Road trips, adventure travel, random classes at a craft store, anything. The key is the more things you do the more you'll learn about yourself, and the better you know that guy the easier it will be to find some kind of direction in your life.
That makes a lot of sense. I guess the thing I'm really worrying about right now is that because of a huge trip I'm going on in a week or two I'm going to be completely out of money. Or nearly.
But that's what your money is for right out of school, go experience the world. You'll make more. After high school I had no idea what I wanted to do. Worked for a while, moved halfway across the US for a year at one point and then moved back. I spent a good number of years working jobs to make money to experience things. Now in my mid 30s I've finally landed in a career I can see myself doing for decades. I would never have found it if I hadn't gotten all the experience everywhere else.
Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it. Maybe I'll do something like that.
You seem to be looking for one big thing to pursue. But maybe that's not how you can reach your full potential. In my experience, very interesting things can happen if people are knowledgeable in multiple fields. As for friends and family, you could try to leave them I'm the dark about the things you do. While it can be a strong motivator to tell everyone about your goals and ambitions, it seems to put a lot of unnecessary pressure on you. The fear of telling others that you've stopped pursuing something again might be what's causing you to stop something you actually like or stop you from trying something you'd like.
There's a good chance that you're right, haha.
College is kind of like getting your feet wet in lots of different subjects, and Community College isn't expensive at all. Other than that, I'd suggest trying to minimize self loathing, and to be okay with yourself. I find some Buddhist ideas are helpful for that, The Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path are core pillars to my own mental health.
No one can really help you find yourself. That is the beauty and curse of your life. Of all our lives.