Those of you who know me know I have a blog called Lil's Book of Questions that I kept during a dark time. For a while Hubski had a mirroring feature so that comments on hubski were magically mirrored on the blog. There were many comments. They disappeared from the blog, but might still be in the amazing hubski archives.
In fact, here's a blog I wrote for Hubski after the infamous Detroit meet-up,
I still love questions. New Year's Eve, I had a small gathering including an improv comedy trainer/doctor, a dub poet from Jamaica, and an activist rabbi. Here are the questions we discussed. I asked each person to pick a number from 1-12, then read their question.
1. What are you curious about (for 2023)?
2. What are you worried about (for 2023)?
3. Are you open to being more known in 2023 (to your choice of human)?
4. Do you have any resentments that you can let go of in 2023?
5. Do you have a philosophy of [your occupation, whatever it is]? Are you considering re-evaluating any of it in 2023?
6. Do you remember discovering that you were valuable and worthwhile?
7. What success are you still proud of?
8. What are you grateful for today?
9. What idea or attitude did you once believe that you later discovered was false?
10. When you realize that everything is made up – all religions, nations, ideas, philosophies - made up by people trying to understand how to live in the world – what then do you believe? What belief system do you follow, or do you make up your own?
11. What questions do you have about yourself that you’d like answered in 2023?
12. How would you like to be more effective in 2023?
I'd love to see your answers to any of these.
12. I would like to be healthier. Better diet, more sleep and more exercise. I’d like to be more efficient with my time. More spent with the kids. Better use of time for work and some set aside for creativity. These things will make me feel “Effective.”
The blog post got me reminiscing. I am part of a Discord server, centred around video games. I've been a member since early 2020, and in June 2022 I flew across the Tasman Sea to meet them all; one of the crew was getting married! Over the span of that trip I met 15 people I knew quite intimately, but had never met in real life. It was an absolute blast, and we're arranging another (non-marriage) meetup this year. I talk to at least one of this group every day. I have plenty of excellent friends I can see just down the road, but it's awesome to have this tight-knit group in another country entirely, who would drop everything to see each other. To some of the questions! 1. What are you curious about (for 2023)? - If my love of writing continues. 12 months in and I've not stopped yet, keen to see if it sticks. On a larger scale where I cease to be relevant, I'm curious about what the hell is going to happen throughout the world? Nothing specific, it's just that shit seems to continuously be wild and I guess I'm curious about what's going to happen next. 2. What are you worried about (for 2023)? - My mortgage rate being refixed. I'll be going from 2.90% to something north of 7%. Also the stability of my job (the University is in massive financial crisis, like every University in the country). 4. Do you have any resentments that you can let go of in 2023? - Yes! Friends who don't put in the time/effort that I put in with them. It used to make me angry. I'd want them to know it pissed me off, but now I'm working on just now getting on with my life. The ones that matter will stick around. 7. What success are you still proud of? - Buying our house. It's a source of stress, sure, but it's ours. I've slowly been building a garden, we can do whatever we want with the place. It was a wonderful transition to a slower but (arguably) more fulfilling life. Also, my $42,000 student loan being paid off in the next month or two. That will be a huge cause for celebration. 8. What are you grateful for today? - The good health of my family. Christmas was a wonderful time to see them all again, and enjoy that they are all still with me. I even got to bring my partner's family into the fold. I was a little worried (my family is incredibly.. Uhhh.. Loud - and her parents are very demure) but it went very well. 9. What idea or attitude did you once believe that you later discovered was false? - I used to think that feminism was anti-men, and would seek to damage me. I steered clear of it, and clear of anyone who was open about their thoughts on it. I wouldn't seek confrontation, but I definitely used to think that this was all the agenda of some purple-haired woman who fucking hated penises. I know better now, and I have my partner to thank for some very patient education and perspective over the years. She saw the potential for a boisterious and tenacious ally, buried somewhere within me. 10. When you realize that everything is made up – all religions, nations, ideas, philosophies - made up by people trying to understand how to live in the world – what then do you believe? What belief system do you follow, or do you make up your own? - I just try to be better than I was yesterday. Incremental change adds up. If I take a step back accidentally, that's fine. The important thing is that I'm aware of it, and I keep moving forward. Momentum tends to guide me. 12. How would you like to be more effective in 2023? - Talk to more people. Read more. Write more. Experience more. Take in the world. I'm starting each day (4/4 so far) by sitting in the sun, be it overcast or not, for 15 minutes. I sit out in the backyard, listen to the sounds of nature. Apparently early morning sun has some positive effects on energy level and sleep cycles, I don't know if the papers I read on it were accurate, but I figured I'd give it a try. Getting up early can't hurt, nor can getting outside. At worst I'm getting a head start on the day, at best there are tangible effects and I'm improving myself.