I can't say my experience was anywhere near the gravity of b_b's post here but this morning I find myself with a little less faith in my fellow man.
My house sits pretty far off the street - about 70 feet or so. I have a Y-shaped driveway - a U in front, with a long tail that goes in to the back yard. This morning as I went out to my car, I noticed my wife's bike was laying just back from the U almost along side the house. My first thought was "stinkin' kids". The chain on her bike broke a last week and I have yet to fix it. I thought the kids might have been playing on it and just carelessly left it out front.
For the last few days, my wife's bike had been laying on the patio behind my house (where my kids had left it) and my bike was leaning up against the house. My heart sank as I walked through my house, out back and saw the absence of my bike. And that's when it clicked: the thief (or thieves) grabbed my bike and rode off. They then grabbed her bike and tried to ride off before realizing that they couldn't peddle. In desperation, they must have dropped it and ran.
Yes - I should have locked my bike. Yes - I should have motion sensing lights. Yes - I should have written down the serial number.
But No - my mistakes don't give some one the right to walk into my back yard, around my fence, onto my patio, and take my property. I'm extra frustrated because the bikes weren't at all visible from the street. The only vantage point from which you can see the bikes is from a condo complex on the back side of my house. So any resident, friend, hired hand, or delivery person going in and out of those condos could have seen my bike and recognized an "easy" target.
I filed a police report. I'll go to the local pawn shops a few times, but in the end, it's gone. It wasn't even that fancy of a bike. But it was mine. It's how I get to work. It's how I get to church. It's how I enjoy Saturday afternoons with my kids.
Lessons learned. But I'm still a little pissed, a little violated, and find myself a coming up short in my faith in my fellow man.
Your mistake is in taking it personally. "You" should have locked your bike but they might have taken it anyway. "You" should have motion sensing lights but if they wanted it they would have taken it anyway. "You" should have written down the serial number but it really won't matter in the long run. Bikes are the currency of an underground economy. If yours is valuable, keep it indoors. Beating your chest and saying "mea culpa" is only adding guilt to what is a truly mundane crime of opportunity by the underclass. I ride a Marin that cost me $800 new... three sets of tires, a sprocket set, a crank and two chains ago. I have seen people try to steal it. And, since I ride up and down the Strand on a regular basis, I see bike theft all the time. As in, watch people with bolt cutters attacking things chained to guard rails. I slowed down once, about to say something. The guy with the bolt cutters said "lost the key." Okay... how do I know he's not telling the truth? Hell, how would I prove I didn't steal my bike? It's registered with my condo association but it's not like that matters... or like I can prove it to any random bystander. Thing is, every time I see a bike being stolen(?) they're doing it in a crowd. I'm always one of a couple dozen people who can observe. And I've never even seen anyone else even think about saying anything about it. Because really - how eager are you to go to the mattresses with a tweaker and his bolt-cutters for someone else's bicycle? I worked swing shift at 7-11 once. Got to see a lot of characters, got to watch a lot of anti-theft videos on VHS (4 hours worth!). One fine Friday night about 2am, a bunch of high school kids came in. One of them bought some candy. As I watched, he grabbed four or five pieces of candy from one of the impulse displays, looked me in the eye, and put them in his pocket. He was asking, in as many words, how badly I wanted to hassle six surly teenagers on a Friday night over a buck's worth of candy for minimum wage. I looked him in the eye and let him take the candy. He'd calculated right - it wasn't worth my time, energy, and confrontational threshold to pick a fight over three Lindtor balls. I quit two days later. Was that about me? No. That was about 7-11, and this kid's calculus that he could get away with it because I just didn't care enough. The same is true of your bicycle. You suffered a lost, not an evil act. It sucks, yeah, but "your fellow man" didn't steal your bicycle - a tweaker who nicks valuables the way your daughter gathers strawberries at the U-pick did. Even he would tell you not to take it personally. And then he'd tell you there's nothing you can do about it. http://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-adventure/biking/Who-Pi...
I think you care. I think you care a lot about people's suffering. I think you were concerned for b_b when he wrote his very sad piece. Your reply to b_b was the first one posted. You responded right away to show support in your own way. By mentioning how really crappy so many other things were, you hoped maybe he'd feel better. I guess. That might have been your plan also in the post above. I'm not surprised though that steve saw your reply as apathy towards his suffering. b_b might also have wondered why you replied the way you did. There is no guarantee that a reader will read it the way we intend it. Now I'm aware that you are not asking why steve might have thought you were showing "world-class apathy" - but if you want to make sure people hear your actual compassion, it might be a good idea to first say something like, "Steve, you must feel so invaded to have someone walk into your yard and take your stuff. It's easy to see why you feel discouraged in humanity today." -- something like that... Steve will think "yeah, kleinbl00 sees what I'm going through." -- and then he'll be interested in hearing your experience. What do you think kleinbl00? Maybe you feel that just by responding to a public forum, that's enough to show concern? What do you think mk and thenewgreen - I noticed you said "sorry" before saying anything else. Anyway, having people hear and get what you intend by what you say and write -- is difficult.
Only because you asked: Although outside of Hubski I don't know either individual, I have gotten to know steve and kleinbl00 enough to know that they are two very different people. steve is a man of deep faith, that faith extends not just towards a higher power but towards the better nature of his fellow man. Kb is admittedly someone without the capacity for faith, though if you follow that link it is not because he disrespects the faithful, rather at times he seems to realize that having the ability to have faith would be advantageous. This said, I think steve's faith in humanity is shaken when an event like this occurs. -Mine would be (and has been) too. KB on the other hand tends to reason from first principles devoid of emotional baggage. Thief has needs, thief provides for needs by steeling a bike, just happens that bike was YOURS. Pretty black and white. Whereas steve (like myself) thinks more along the lines of person violated my personal space, a place where my family lives. They took something fundamental to my life with no regard for how important it is to me. Two different ways of thinking. I'm more like steve for sure but I can appreciate where KB is coming from. That said, because I'm more like steve I would have found KB's comment a bit salty in my fresh wounds too. As for me saying "sorry", I was and am. Having your bike stolen sucks. I just bought my wife her THIRD bike since we've been married. If this one gets stolen, she can ride on my handle bars.
Really interesting to hear the background, thx. As you know I'm very interested in how people respond to troubled people.Only because you asked
I think it's interesting that "your mistake is in taking it personally" is somehow seen as an affront but "don't beat yourself up" is seen as commiserating. Theft is always a violation - if you let it be. Considering the post is titled "what a bummer" I did not judge the tenor of the conversation as one that makes "so sorry your bike got stolen" obligatory. Thing is, Steve usually throws snark my way so his response would likely have been the same. I just wish I knew why I got beat up for being acerbic when usually, it's someone else taking a swing at me.
Sorry to hear it. There is a particularly bad feeling being the victim of theft. Chances are that they are young, drug addicts, or both. Maybe you can take some solace in the fact that although your brush with the underbelly sucked, it was short-lived, where they experience it every morning, because they are the suck.
I'm sorry steve. I'm glad your home and family are safe but it is quite a violation isn't it? I have had it happen twice with my wife's bikes. Hope your day gets better pal.