I was gonna be all smart and link you to a community center in Eerie with free rec facilities... but Google pulled up a fat stack of nothin'. You're not kidding, that town seems... sleepy. Does look like there's a YMCA over there, though, and they usually have a sliding scale tuition system to meet the needs of people who can't throw down the full amount. Humanadon's Skype idea is pretty great, though. Neat workaround, and come to think of it, Skype yoga with your girlfriend could lead to all sorts of other... recreational... activity. Herm. So if you're still in contact with your adviser, are you still getting through your undergrad/grad stuff? Is that why you're stuck in Eerie? Or are you just out of university? If so, is there any way in hell to get out of dodge? Two thoughts: if you're still in school, maybe there are some in-house resources to draw on re. community involvement, peer-to-peer engagement, etc.? And if you're just out of school... that might be the crappiest time of life, give or take early high school, which I think we can all agree is an A-1 trainwreck for all involved. But post-school dog-paddling takes a close second. Not experienced enough to pull a high-level job, but feeling the bite of loans just acutely enough to wonder what the hell you paid all that money for. Then there's the transition from the structure of school to the chaos of life as a big kid. And the switch from being surrounded by friends and like-minded individuals to just living in any old goddamn place with a more random sample of the population. To be perfectly honest, it's entirely possible to feel like you're in freefall way past that point- I'm walking towards my 30's and I'm just starting to feel like my shit's halfway together. A lot of my friends are in the same boat, and- here's a morbidly uplifting tidbit for you- I was sure they were all doing way better than me until recently when we all compared drunken notes (in vino veritas and all that) and realized we all still felt like we were just barely edging on some semblance of conventional success. Seems like maybe the trick to this portion of life, as redundant as it sounds coming on the tail of your adviser's and humanadon's recommendations, is to approach it all with kind of a sense of nihilistic glee. And, to crib off of the 'Don (mind if I call you that, 'Don? Yes? Too bad, I feel it sticking already) one more time, don't pin too much of your self worth onto your very early career. Or hell, on any part of your career. This idea that a person is only as good as their job seems absurd, and maybe a very specific symptom of our particular society. As good as the sum of your experiences? At least that allows you to take a proactive role in shaping your self-worth. As good as your output? Closer, maybe, but that ought to include all of your extracurricular outputs as well, then. Such as, say, your music project, which it seems kind of odd to qualify as "not even creativity." And your blog, which is definitely a form of creativity, and more productive than you might think. Case in point, I recently applied to a blogging position at my radio station, but probably won't get it because... I've never written for a blog. At this point, you are more qualified for that job than I am. So: feel free to be as good as your output, and then make sure you're putting out a lot of stuff, and it may even end up opening unexpected doors. Or measure your worth by the number of people who you affect on a daily basis. Or don't bother to measure the worth of your life at all, as trying to paint an accurate and objective picture of yourself while you're in the soup is a fool's errand. The way you measure yourself and the way others measure you are two dramatically different beasts. Bottom line, and I could have said this in a few hundred less words: as hard as it seems, don't take your present condition too seriously. You're clearly smart, presumably well educated, eventually well-trained, and only temporarily chained to your current locale. Try to enjoy whatever glimmer of it you can, or at least the absurdity of the situation. Other, more practical ideas: -Make a list of books to read in your spare time. Alternate genres you like with stuff you wouldn't consider but have it on good faith is good. Throw in some really heavy stuff too, to get your gears working. -Start or join a board game club. Did this when we moved to our current city. Everybody in the club was pretty awkward, but board games allow you to overcome those social quirks that otherwise plague you, and they allow you to forget the outside world for a while, too. -Journal. I'm not kidding. Anyhow, like I said before, you're well liked around here, so if all else fails, interact with Hubski/other social sites and live on the internet a little bit. Who needs a cultural center when you've got a cultural gestalt at your fingertips?
I'm going to reply to this bit by bit since there's a lot to it. I've said it before to people in this thread, but thank you for caring, even just a little bit. It means a lot to me, stranger from the internet. I'm not exaggerating all that much, unfortunately. There's a Planet Fitness that I actually just found, probably going to go that route for the $10/month plus driving ten minutes to get there. The YMCA looks pretty nice, but it's probably more expensive. That's something we've talked about before (we went through a long-distance period last summer too), but she's not very comfortable that sort of stuff, so it rarely happens. That's not too much of a bother though, I respect it. I'm still in Undergraduate school, once you sign up for a job like I have, the school pretty much refuses to let you out of it unless you have very, very extreme circumstances that prevent you from fulfilling it. They're very big on that, and will make your hell if you renege on the job. And what you were just describing, that actually sounds worse than anything else... It's funny, I have some friends who graduated last year and have said pretty much exactly what you have with regards to the drunken notes section there. It seems to be almost universal, it's scary that it takes that long to start to see a payoff. I like that name, Don, so we'll stick with that. I'll have to come up with something for you! It's...well I guess that part is just who I've always been. I used to be a very good bowler (bowled on a top-10 ranked team in the country Freshman year of college), but eventually you can only take so much of the attitude displayed with that "not even creativity" quote. One of these days I'll stop trying to make myself the absolute best I can be at certain things, and drop that whole not good enough attitude. If you don't get the job at the radio station, screw it, start up something yourself! Then it will be entirely on your terms and you can really take it wherever you want it to go. "Absurdity of the Situation" ... have you been reading Camus lately? -I've been reading The Hound of the Baskervilles during Lunch break at work, I recently finished Winston Churchill: We Will All Go Down Fighting to the End. Already implemented that idea, though it's kind of scary that you came up with exactly what I'm doing... -Board Game Club...I'm sure there's 3 or 4 other people in this whole "city" that enjoy Catan or something. I'm actually considering joining a bowling league. Don't know if I can bring myself to do it though, there's something about not doing at a highly competitive level that takes away from the fun...a lot. -I love reading stuff on Hubski (and certain Reddit subreddits), I'll probably keep at the level I'm at, few shares and a post every day, comments fluctuate depending on the day. Thank you very much for your input fuffle, it really has helped calm my nerves, at least for the time being, and I mean that.
1) No, no, no! Humanadon is clearly "The 'Don" whether he likes it or not. You're gonna be "Supafly." Nothing better than assigning nicknames to names that are already nicknames. 2) Why would a school have such stringent work policies? Does it have to do with tuition payment, or are they just trying to work their numbers to make themselves look more effective in the realm of career placement? Either way, that sucks, man. But all the more reason not to worry- it's a finite situation. 3) The Hound of the Baskervilles is good. You should check out the whole series of Holmes stories. They're good escapism, and full of character. If you liked the Winston Churchill jam, you should check out Team of Rivals if you haven't already. About Lincoln, very well written. And speaking of bowling, This book seems to have been made for you. Really captivating read, too. Jealous that you were that strong at bowling. I always really enjoyed it but completely sucked at it. Still do. Anyhow, hang in there, and no need to thank me for blowing smoke. It's what this place is all about.
1) Well...fine! I do kind of like Supafly... 2) It's mostly the later, and it does seem to have with post-graduation job placement. For engineering majors it's something like 95+% job placement, which is hard to argue with. 3) I'm thinking about buying them after this. There's a bookstore that sells a bunch of classic novels for $3 each, so I'm probably going to see if they have anymore Sherlock Holmes novels. I already own Team of Rivals, haven't been able to dig too deep into it yet though. I don't like the title having such a negative connotation (based on that background), I've bowled alone countless times. It's one of the only good ways to work on your mechanics and improve them.